We tend to make the outside world responsible for our well-being, especially in the Western culture. We think that we will feel happy and content, if we achieved this goal, if we had enough money, if the sun shined, if others were nice to us, if we bought this nice car and so on… Instead of living a life of abundance we live a life of scarcity.
Recently, I had fallen into this trap. A few months ago, I have launched my blog. I had been planning this for quite some time. As it took far longer than expected, I felt more and more impatient and anxious. I supposed that as soon as my blog is live, I will feel fabulous and so happy. Somehow, these awaited great emotions did not show up. At least my impatience regarding my blog was gone. But now there were new things I worried about. And I was disappointed that I did not experience a magnificent mood.
We know these stories about people who won a lottery jackpot. The first weeks and maybe even months they feel amazing. After some time, they perceive life as before and as nothing happened. These anecdotes are the negative examples. But there are also these encouraging cases. People hit by a heavy blow of fate, who were able to dig themselves out of the deep hole they fell into. And even more – some of them thrive afterwards and achieve great things.
What is the difference between those persons? Wouldn’t it be great if we enjoyed life to the full and flourished in all areas of our life without any external dependencies?
The distinction is our basic attitude and perspective. We are responsible for our sensations. If we want to feel bad, we are always able to find an excuse for our poor mood in the outside – our partner did not take out the trash, our colleague dropped a stupid comment, it is too cold, it is too warm, it takes longer to accomplish a goal than expected, we made a mistake…
As we are in the driver seat of our emotions we can change them for the better. To be able to do this, at first, we need to be aware of it. And exactly this happened to me. After I contemplated about not experiencing any expected great feelings as my blog went live, I recognized that I rely on the outer world for my inner sensations. This realization was the most important step for me. I started to think how I can change this. For example, I shifted from telling me that I do not have enough time to do all these things to how great it is that I have endless opportunities to choose from like a huge buffet. Or from how difficult something is to what a great learning opportunity it is. Or that I do not have to worry that something does not work. If it does not work, I find another way to accomplish my target. Or I even find a better target. I adjusted my mindset from scarcity to abundance. This is so much fun and it feels much better. We are all able to generate a poor mood. Sometimes we are real masters in it. The same way we are able to develop bad sensations we can create elevated emotions. Doing so we become free and independent from the exterior, which feels incredible.
Photo by Quang Anh Ha Nguyen